Life Update: Learning to Live With Grief

Life Update: Learning to Live With Grief

After a major loss in my family, I took a quiet summer away from the blog. Now I'm back to share that journey with you. Grief is anything but simple — it defies description, keeps no fixed schedule, and has no limit to its pain. Having grieved before and having found my calling in supporting grieving children and teens, I've seen firsthand how loss touches people physically, mentally, and emotionally. Its effects can last a lifetime. Each of us grieves in our own way, yet we have to keep moving forward.

My Own Reflection on Loss and Grief

My grandmother died suddenly on June 2nd, 2018. I was driving home from a quick trip to Chicago when my dad called with the news. Shock and confusion came first. Just a week earlier, I had talked with her on her birthday, told her I loved her, and promised to call soon to set up a lunch date. None of it made sense. Once I understood what had happened, I hurried to be with my family so we could say our goodbyes — and that was incredibly hard. My grandma was the anchor of our family, and without her, what now?

As I said, I've grieved before, but I had never been through the funeral process until now. If you've been through it yourself, you know how fast everything unfolds. Because my grandma's passing was so sudden, there were countless changes and decisions to make. My mind was in no way prepared for any of it, but it happened, and it became my new reality.

During that stretch I felt myself shutting down, both emotionally and mentally. My thoughts stalled, and my grandma was all I could think about. What more could I have told her? Why hadn't I spent more time with her? I thought about the future milestones she would miss, like my college graduation or my wedding. Beyond my own grief, I knew I had to be strong and present for my family, who were grieving too.

Over these past two months I've focused on staying close to family and loved ones. Support during grief matters deeply. Everyone grieves differently, and I can't fully put into words the overwhelming emotions I've felt since, but I can honestly say I've made it through with support. In a strange but special way, this brought my family closer, and I'm very thankful for that.

Tips That Helped Me Cope With the Loss of a Loved One

  • Understand your grief. Grief is a normal response to death. Get to know your feelings and the stages grief can pass through, which may include denial, anger, depression, and eventually acceptance. There is no "normal" amount of time for grieving. Take the time you need during this process and practice self-care.
  • Lean on support. Everyone needs support during a crisis. More than anything else, we need to feel loved and supported. Reach out to a family member, friend, support group, therapist, or someone you trust. Don't hold back from explaining what you feel. It's okay to feel the way you feel. You are not alone!
  • Focus on the positive. Take stock of the good things happening in your life. During this time I had started a new job, my birthday came shortly after her passing, and I was planning a vacation. Even though I had little motivation to feel excited, I understood that I had much more to look forward to. I had to keep moving forward. Don't feel guilty for getting back into the swing of things.
  • Keep the faith. Know that you will always heal and that grieving does not last forever. Speaking from experience, these positive tips have helped me in times of grief, and I hope to inspire you to keep pushing forward.

In loving memory. XOXO, Lex

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About the Author

Lex, author of Lifestyle with Lex
Lex, author of Lifestyle with Lex

I'm Lex! Welcome to my lifestyle blog, where I share tips and thoughts on fashion, beauty, and lifestyle, along with my life and travel experiences. My blog is a positive environment meant for positivity only. Thank you for the support! Xoxo, Lex

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Frequently Asked Questions About Grief

Is there a "normal" amount of time to grieve?
No. As shared in this post, grief has no fixed timeline and no ceiling on the pain it carries. Take the time you need and practice self-care along the way.
What are some common stages of grief?
Grief can pass through stages that may include denial, anger, depression, and eventually acceptance. Knowing these feelings are a normal response to loss can help you understand what you are experiencing.
Who can I reach out to for support while grieving?
You can lean on a family member, friend, support group, therapist, or anyone you trust. Explaining what you feel is okay — you are not alone.
Is it okay to feel happy or excited again after a loss?
Yes. Focusing on the positive things in your life does not mean forgetting your loved one, and you should not feel guilty for getting back into the swing of things.
How can I support a grieving child or teen?
Loss reaches people physically, mentally, and emotionally, and everyone grieves in their own way. Being present, listening, and offering steady support can make a difference.

Grief rarely follows a tidy schedule, and there is no right or wrong way to move through it. Whether you are in the first raw weeks of a loss or still carrying one from years ago, giving yourself permission to feel, to rest, and to lean on others can make the weight a little easier to bear. © Lifestylewithlexblog

Grief is not something you simply get over; it is something you learn to carry. If you are supporting someone who is grieving, the simplest gift you can offer is your presence and patience, without rushing their timeline. And if the loss is your own, be gentle with yourself on the hard days and let the people who love you help.