My Own Reflection on Loss and Grief
I stepped away from the blog for a quiet summer after a major loss in my family, and now I'm back to share that experience with you. Grief is anything but simple. It's a process that resists description, with no fixed timeline and no ceiling on the pain it carries. I've grieved before, and I've found my calling in supporting grieving children and teens, so I've seen firsthand how loss reaches people physically, mentally, and emotionally. Its effects can last a lifetime. Each of us grieves in our own way, yet we have to keep moving forward.
My grandmother died suddenly on June 2nd, 2018. I was on my way home from a quick trip to Chicago when my dad called with the news. Shock and confusion hit me first. Only a week before, I had talked with her on her birthday, told her I loved her, and promised to call soon to set up a lunch date. Nothing about it made sense. Once I understood what had happened, I rushed to be with my family so we could say our goodbyes, and that was incredibly hard. My grandma was the anchor of our family, and without her, what now?
As I said, I've grieved before, but I had never gone through the funeral process until now. If you've been through it yourself, you know how quickly everything unfolds. Because my grandma's passing was so sudden, there were countless changes and decisions to make. My mind was in no way prepared for any of it, but it happened, and it became my new reality.
During that stretch I felt myself shutting down, both emotionally and mentally. My thoughts stalled, and my grandma was all I could think about. What more could I have told her? Why hadn't I spent more time with her? I thought about the future life events she would miss, like my college graduation or my wedding. Beyond my own grief, I knew I had to be strong and present for my family, who were grieving too.
Over these past two months I've focused on staying close to family and loved ones. Support during grief matters deeply. Everyone grieves differently, and I can't fully put into words the overwhelming emotions I've felt since, but I can honestly say I've made it through with support. In a strange but special way, this brought my family closer, and I'm very thankful for that.
Tips That Helped Me Cope With Losing a Loved One
- Understand your grief. Grief is a normal response to death. Get to know your feelings and the stages grief can pass through, which may include denial, anger, depression, and eventually acceptance. There is no "normal" amount of time for grieving. Take the time you need during this process and practice self-care.
- Lean on support. Everyone needs support during a crisis. More than anything else, we need to feel loved and supported. Reach out to a family member, friend, support group, therapist, or someone you trust. Don't hold back from explaining what you feel. It's okay to feel the way you feel. You are not alone!
- Focus on the positive. Take stock of the good things happening in your life. During this time I had started a new job, my birthday came shortly after her passing, and I was planning a vacation. Even though I had little motivation to feel excited, I understood that I had much more to look forward to. I had to keep moving forward. Don't feel guilty for getting back into the swing of things.
- Keep the faith. Know that you will always heal and that grieving does not last forever. Speaking from experience, these positive tips have helped me in times of grief, and I hope to inspire you to keep pushing forward.
In loving memory. XOXO, Lex
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About the Author
I'm Lex! Welcome to my lifestyle blog, where I share tips and thoughts on fashion, beauty, and lifestyle, along with my life and travel experiences. My blog is a positive environment meant for positivity only. Thank you for the support! Xoxo, Lex
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Grief rarely follows a tidy schedule, and there is no right or wrong way to move through it. Whether you are in the first raw weeks of a loss or still carrying one from years ago, giving yourself permission to feel, to rest, and to lean on others can make the weight a little easier to bear.